Paterson One-Liners
We did this last week, but here’s the jokes today from Paterson in his inaugural speech. He had a little bigger audience this time, and got more laughs.
A group standing next to me kept saying, “Thanks, I’ll be here all week,” after each Paterson joke.
Here’s some of Paterson’s one-liners:
—“And I would like to finally thank the leader of the Assembly Republican Conference in the New York State Assembly. He asked me other day when he came out of office, do you still play basketball, David? I told him, I don’t play basketball, Jimmy. Maybe, you’d like to come by for a lesson sometime. Jim Tedesco, Assembly Minority Leader.”
—As he thanked Senate Majority Leader Joe Bruno, he said “The other day we had lunch and he said ‘Listen, some evening, if you like it you should come out to the ranch and have dinner with me.’ I’ll go. I’m going to take my taster with me.”
—“The last time I was in this chamber I was gaveling in for the State of the State and Speaker Silver had brought me in here to practice so I didn’t destroy anything in our first year. But in our second year, I said don’t bother, I know how to do this.
Apparently, I was about to bring the gavel down on a glass, like this one.
The speaker at the last second grabbed the gavel away from me and he told me in his own inimitable way, as only Shelly can, I will not allow you to turn the State of the State into a Jewish wedding.”
—”And someone who went through a circumstance somewhat similar to mine has given me advice and come to join me today, Governor Jodi Rell of Connecticut. Governor, how did you do it?”
| 
Email This
Advertisements
Lame.
Wasn’t joking today when he admitted an extra-marital affair that took place over years at a Broadway motel. His problem is not so much this admission (which was well-known and about to come out anyway) but that campaign funds were at times used to pay for the room (he claims someone else used that room, an aide on those occasions when he paid from his account.) All in all, an unhappy revelation. Who’s next, Joe Bruno? Doubt he’d stand up to any scrutiny either. I guess we just grin and bear it. It all is what it is.
—“And I would like to finally thank the leader of the Assembly Republican Conference in the New York State Assembly. He asked me other day when he came out of office, do you still play basketball, David? I told him, I don’t play basketball, Jimmy. Maybe, you’d like to come by for a lesson sometime. Jim Tedesco, Assembly Minority Leader.â€
should read:
“I don’t play basketball, Jimmy. I teach it. Maybe…”
“And I would like to finally thank the leader of the Assembly Republican Conference in the New York State Assembly. He asked me other day when he came out of office, do you still play basketball, David? I told him, I don’t play basketball, Jimmy. Maybe, you’d like to come by for a lesson sometime. Jim Tedesco, Assembly Minority Leader.â€
should read:
“I don’t play basketball, Jimmy. I teach it. Maybe…”
There are no one-liners about the affairs both Paterson and his wife had. His speech was barely finished when he was admitting to it. It is now a huge story.
Between Paterson, Spitzer and McGreevey, and with Obama being tied closely to a radical hater of a preacher, it is a tough time for the Democrats. And then, wait till the Clintons’ tax returns are finally released. Not just last year’s either, please. And who donated to Mister Bill’s foundation and how much? They want to keep that secret. It looks like the Democrats are self-destructing again.
It seems like Democrats all have these type of issues. It seems like they are all in bed with someone. What about our Democrat State Senate and Assembly are they doing these type of things. Of course they are, when they are in Albany all of them have relationships.
It’s not just Dems. Take a look at the varied affairs/spouses that Newt Gingrich and Rudy Giuliani have had. The difference seems to be that the Repubs, who are always pushing the sanctity of marriage line, tend to have affairs and get divorced, while the Dems do the same thing, but then stay married and fix the relationship problems.
All of the above are generalities, of course. Not to say that there aren’t Repubs who have good, long-lasting marriages, nor that Dems don’t get divorces.
Both the new governor and his wife had affairs during
a rocky time in their marriage..they sought counseling
and did not get a divorce..1. that is really none of our
business…2. the conduct was private and did not break
any laws..3. it happens regularly to lots of people
4. judge not lest ye be judge..5 they ended up keeping
their marriage together…
THIS IS NOT THE SPITZER SITUATION OR THE CLINTON
SITUATION…THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER BETWEEN TWO
MARRIED PEOPLE WHO ARE HAVING MARITAL DIFFICULTIES
I LIKE THE NEW GOVERNOR..HE WILL DO A GOOD JOB
Well said Consultant.
It is a private matter next.
Gotcha government needs to take a rest.
If its a private matter, why is the governor making it public? As for the Consultant’s remarks, just because he likes the new governor does not in anyway lead to the conclusion that he will do a good job.
The governor was not elected and probably would not have been elected if he had run against Spitzer or run in 2002. Albany, needs to be fixed. Whether this governor will do a good job, the jury is still out. Regardless of whether the Consultant likes him.
Liking him does not mean that when election time comes
around in 2010 I will be voting for him or supporting
him…lets see who the republicans have ..maybe mike
bloomberg I am betting..but if they run another pro life
faso type I may just bolt and support david if he has
done a reasonbly good job..all I am saying now is
that his personal relationship with his wife is
not the publics business although some in the media
think it is…if that were the case in 1960 JFK
would never have been elected..neither would
Johnson…so lets keep things in balance. I am sure
the reason he is having a press conference is to
answer the questions which are press driven.,,,
I am sure you may bolt. Both the DiFiore and Spano bolted the party and rather than criticize them for running as Republicans and then switching party affiliation you went to great lengths to defend them.
If the Republicans run Bloomberg, they might as well disband the Republican party. Bloomberg is to the left of most national Democrats on social issues and while he claims to be a fiscal conservative there is no evidence of that. He raised taxes when he took office, which was necessary but when the economy was good he never lowered taxes. Instead, he increased gov. spending and gave big raises to many unions. With the exception of the teacher’s union, he is pretty much acted as a standard Democrat in his negotiations with the unions. In essence, Republicans gain little by having Bloomberg as Mayor. This is a guy whose aides speculate about him being part of a Obama ticket.
If the Republicans want to run someone more electable perhaps they can get someone like Dick Parsons or even Giuliani (who I doubt wants the job) or even Bill Weld. Bloomberg, should not be rewarded for leaving the Republican party.
There are a lot of republicans I would support Rudy
is indeed one of them.THis next election however
I will personally as a lifelong republican not
permit the conservative party to impose its
social views on the candidate..weld would be fine
giuliani would be fine…by another Faso/Spencer
team would not be fine..maybe if other republicans
stood up for the ability of the party to select
its own candidates we might be able to take
the governors office back again..and if the
party chooses mike bloomberg you may not approve
but he would be fine to
taken from Obama’s recent speech on race”
“And occasionally it finds voice in the church on Sunday morning, in the pulpit and in the pews. The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Reverend Wright’s sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that the most segregated hour in American life occurs on Sunday morning. That anger is not always productive; indeed, all too often it distracts attention from solving real problems; it keeps us from squarely facing our own complicity in our condition, and prevents the African-American community from forging the alliances it needs to bring about real change. But the anger is real; it is powerful; and to simply wish it away, to condemn it without understanding its roots, only serves to widen the chasm of misunderstanding that exists between the races.”
So Obama attends and has attended for 20 years a
church where the reverend is so angry that he
dams america, blames Israel for the terrorism in the
middle east. blames rich white people for running
the country, etc…this will not abide in the general
election with older democrats in key states…they
will hold their noses and vote for john mccain
Keep pushing that line that McCain has no baggage from Hagee, Mike. Maybe someday, you’ll even start believing it yourself. McCain is just the SSDD way of doing things in DC, between the triangulation on all of the policies (torture, campaign finance), the lobbyists, and his blatant sucking up to the evangelical right/corporatists/neocons.
McCain does not have baggage from Hagee. First off, as mentioned previously, Hagee is not even close to as offensive as Rev. Wright. Second of all, McCain has little to relationship with Hagee. He accepted his endorsement. Most people will accept an endorsement of those they do not agree with. Rev. Wright, is Obama’s spiritual mentor. Someone he went to for advice and maintained a close personal relationship for over 20 years. Third of, there is a complete double standard. If McCain attended the church weekly and was close with a pastor that routinely denounced other races and ethnicities and denounced this country, and was sympathetic to the KKK, McCain would have been forced out of the presidential race. Obama’s pastor is a Christian version of Louis Farrakhan. He is a millitant racist and black supremacist. He even claims that Jesus was black. Something to afrocentric scholars typically claim.
McCain, has baggage but this is not it.
Paterson’s “affairs” (and his wife’s) were rumored and they chose to address and confirm them. It is not the same as Clinton, McGreevey or Spitzer, but it is a poor way for a new governor to begin filling in for the likes of Spitzer. This was revealed within hours of taking the oath.
Obama spoke well, as usual. But he did not distance himself from Wright at all—not when you study the speech. And behind the rhetoric, he was excusing Wright and others like him, blaming whites for the attitudes of those blacks.
He also blamed white America for the breakdown of families in the black community, for poor schools, for the lack of jobs, etc. It was buck-passing and taking almost all responsibility from the black community itself.
Obama also barely touched on the political hatred about America overseas that is so prominent in Wright’s sermons.
But after all that, Obama claims HE is the “healer” who can unite everyone? No, I don’t think so. This Democratic campaign is now basically a racial campaign. Obama has divided, not united, and he did so because of his 20-year close friendship with Wright, and his excuse-making today.
He is an excellent speaker. But behind it today was a slick message that basically excused Wright and blamed whites.
taken from the wall street journal….
How does one “transcend” race in this church? The fact is that Barack Obama has fellow-traveled with a hate-filled, anti-American black nationalism all his adult life, failing to stand and challenge an ideology that would have no place for his own mother. And what portent of presidential judgment is it to have exposed his two daughters for their entire lives to what is, at the very least, a subtext of anti-white vitriol?
What could he have been thinking? Of course he wasn’t thinking. He was driven by insecurity, by a need to “be black” despite his biracial background. And so fellow-traveling with a little race hatred seemed a small price to pay for a more secure racial identity. And anyway, wasn’t this hatred more rhetorical than real?
But now the floodlight of a presidential campaign has trained on this usually hidden corner of contemporary black life: a mindless indulgence in a rhetorical anti-Americanism as a way of bonding and of asserting one’s blackness. Yet Jeremiah Wright, splashed across America’s television screens, has shown us that there is no real difference between rhetorical hatred and real hatred.
No matter his ultimate political fate, there is already enough pathos in Barack Obama to make him a cautionary tale. His public persona thrives on a manipulation of whites (bargaining), and his private sense of racial identity demands both self-betrayal and duplicity. His is the story of a man who flew so high, yet neglected to become himself.
Mr. Steele, a research fellow at Stanford University’s Hoover Institution and the author of “A Bound Man: Why We Are Excited About Obama and Why He Can’t Win” (Free Press, 2007).
Obama’s comparison of occasional bigoted remarks made in private by his white grandmother cannot remotely be compared legitimately to the frequent and very public hate speeches made by Wright over the course of many years. Or did Obama’s grandmother also honor that other hater Farrakhan and then travel with him to Lybia?
But that is the very comparison Obama made today.
You want to go “Dueling quotes,” Mike? Your quote from the WSJ was mighty impressive, but it’s just some guys opinion. Here’s a few fact based quotes for ya…
McCAIN EMBRACES BIGOT
Catholic League president Bill Donohue addressed this today:
“There are plenty of staunch evangelical leaders who are pro-Israel, but are not anti-Catholic. John Hagee is not one of them. Indeed, for the past few decades, he has waged an unrelenting war against the Catholic Church. For example, he likes calling it ‘The Great Whore,’ an ‘apostate church,’ the ‘anti-Christ,’ and a ‘false cult system’ . . . .
“In Hagee’s latest book, Jerusalem Countdown, he calls Hitler a Catholic who murdered Jews while the Catholic Church did nothing. ‘The sell-out of Catholicism to Hitler began not with the people but with the Vatican itself,’ he writes. . . . “Senator Obama has repudiated the endorsement of Louis Farrakhan, another bigot. McCain should follow suit and retract his embrace of Hagee.”
...or this one…
“As millions of people anticipate the release of the latest Harry Potter book and film, we’re reminded once again of Satan’s ongoing attempt to deceive and destroy. The whole purpose of the Potter books is to desensitize readers and introduce them to the occult.”
...or this…
“The End Times—Rapture—is imminent and the U.S. Government must do what it can to hasten it, which at minimum requires: (a) a war with Iran and (b) undying, absolute support for a unified Israel, including all Occupied Territories ”
...or this…
“I believe that the Hurricane Katrina was, in fact, the judgment of God against the city of New Orleans.”
“McCain said he was “very honored” to receive this endorsement and, when asked about some of Hagee’s more twisted views, responded: “all I can tell you is that I am very proud to have Pastor John Hagee’s support.””
You guys all complain about media bias, BUT when Republicans suck up to the likes of Hagee, Dobson, Pat Robertson, they don’t get denounced or barely even questioned about those ties.
From Glenn Greenwald (whose opinion I respect a lot more than your paid shill from some conservative think tank…)
“That’s the same Rev. Robertson who, among so many great things, said that Ariel Sharon’s stroke was God’s punishment for giving up Gaza and the 9/11 attack was divine retribution against America—America’s fault—for tolerating gays, feminists and the ACLU. But Giuliani was the moderate, respectable candidate who was free to accept Robertson’s endorsement, ...”
One thing about you guys, you stay “on message.” (Something the Dems are still learning.) I, however, HAVE learned it, and I’ll keep bringing up the double standard as often as it takes. Get used to it.
A number of comments:
Robertson immediately apologize for his comments. McCain, furthermore, has little to no connection with Robertson. Robertson has denounced McCain on a number of occassions. Rev. Wright is a close associate of Obama. Get that through your head. Your analogy is not apt.
Bill Donahue is himself a bigot. People in glass houses should not throw stones. Do you really want him to be your definitive source for criticism of anti-Catholic bigotry? He has gone after many politicians (the majority of them Democrats) and other religious leaders for alleged Catholic bigotry.
Hagee’s comments are indeed offensive to other religions. Moreover, many other religious leaders seem to get along with him. I noticed a foreword to a book written by a Jewish man who was Senator Spector’s former chief of staff was written by Hagee, despite allegations that Hagee is anti-semitic. Even assuming Hagee is a religious bigot and these are not isolated comments, Hagee has not shown himself to be a racist. Rev. Wright is both a religious and racist bigot.
As for your commentary about others quoting from the WSJ, here is a quote from a liberal journalist, Richard Cohen, at the Wash. Post. Hopefully, Glenn Greenwald would approve.
“After I wrote in January about Wright’s praise for Farrakhan, I was pilloried by Obama supporters who accused me of all manner of things, including insanity. But when I asked some of them what they would have done if their minister had extolled David Duke, the former Ku Klux Klan official, or Rabbi Meir Kahane, the late anti-Arab racist, they either rejected the question entirely or simply didn’t answer. Don’t they think that everyone, particularly a public figure, has an obligation to denounce bigotry, as well as those who praise the bigots themselves?”
Walt is just trying to divert attention and change the subject. His comparisons do not hold up. But feel some compassion for Walt. It is his party that is imploding and tearing itself apart over Wright and other matters.
Chicago ‘68, here they come.
I am married to a catholic..I personally think Hagee
is a jackass along with robertson, the radical
christian right evangelicals, lous Farakan and
his Muslim followers, and for that matter the
settlers on the west bank who think god ordained
they get the land ..that makes all of you correct
on the jackasses of the world..but this is about
politics…when you run for president and you
attend a church whose paster Damns America
and what it stands for you have to pay the piper
and Obama will pay as follows…Many Christians
who are non church affiliated and Independent voters
and a whole bunch of Jewish Voters will look at
Obama and say to themselves…If my pastor or rabbi
said something that outrageous I would have stood
up and walked out…this isn’t about race..this isn’t
about blacks being victims..this isn’t about understanding
prejudice..this is about the poltical consequences of
the pastor for the future US president damning the nation
calling Louis Farakan a great leader, and that cannot
and will not be tolerated by voters of all religions
who are fair and who know that whatever criticism one
might have against US foreign policy, or Republicans
or politicians in general, no candidate who embraces
that kind of vengeful, angry, hatefilled, leader
can ever be elected to the presidency..I don’t care
if he can carry 100% of the african american vote..
He can’t win the election
100 percent right on that one.
Ian, while I agree that Bill Donahue is an idiot, you can’t deny that Hagee has said those things about Catholicism. The fact that Donahue said them doesn’t make them any less true. You guys are quick to denounce Donahue as a crackpot when he goes after your own guy, but why is it that that he gets his mug on FoxNews every time he has something to say against a Dem?
The only reason that Donahue’s name was even brought up was in the context of the quote. Don’t try to change the subject.
BTW, if Hagee isn’t a racist, how might you explain this…
“More recently, in March 1996 Hagee caused a furor when he created an uproar in the black community of Texas. Major newspapers of the area reported on his plan to conduct a “slave sale.†The auction was an attempt to raise money for a seniors’ class trip from his private Cornerstone High School. He announced to the congregation that “slavery in America was returning to Cornerstoneâ€3 and that each senior “would be auctioned off.†The highest bidder could have a “slave†work at their house, so the congregation should make plans to “go home with a slave.—
Wahoo, or Ethan, or whatever you’re calling yourself since Zherka’s lawsuit- I think you’re projecting onto me and the Dems what’s going on with the GOP.